Saturday, August 9, 2008

Rhymes are not always accurate.

Whoever came up with the saying "Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Beer before liquor, you've never been sicker" was full of shit.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Holy crap my brain just imploded.

I'm warning you, watch this video at your own risk. Fork in the garbage disposal? Lost contacts? A man named Kiki?

It is highly plausible that I am a gay man after watching this video.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Hookah Hokies.

While walking to the subway in the East Village this afternoon, I overheard a conversation amongst three of the most generic lookin women I have ever seen in my life. They were standing in front of a hookah bar. This is what transpired:

Fat Chick: "Have you ever tried hookah?"
Horse Face: "No, you?"
Four Eyes: "I haven't. I've seen enough people who have tried it and that's enough for me."

I was a little confused. Hookah is herbal fruit. It's essentially like putting your mom potpourri in a bong and smoking it. Four Eyes made it sound like it was some sort of maniacal, orgy-inducing drug. I mean, c'mon - the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland was a hookah smoker - if you can't mold yourself around a beloved Disney character, what can you aspire to (Fun Fact: My personality is an exact imitation of Baloo from The Jungle Book and Tinker Bell from Peter Pan)?

To read more about hookah, go here:

It'll make you feel far more mentally superior to these three women if you read the Wikipedia entry.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

A break from my normal snarkiness...

Below is another reason why I'm a proud Kansas Jayhawk:

KU Doctors Perform Surgery for Malian Child
Jun 10, 2008

A team of physicians and nurses from the University of Kansas Hospital and University of Kansas Medical Center, with the integral assistance of a local aid group, is doing its part to ensure that stateside technology has an impact on lives in faraway lands. A recent operation and tumor removal, restoring hope and life for a 7-year-old boy from Mali, speaks to the global reach of local nurses and doctors.

Boi, the young child from Mali, was flown to Kansas City after a team from the Medical Missions Foundation serving in a nearby village was alerted to his predicament. A tumor had grown on the right side of Boi's face, recently expanding in size to the point where it would soon obstruct crucial air and food passageways.

“Within two months he would not have been able to eat or swallow, and would have died,” said Dr. Douglas Girod, one of the surgeons who performed the operation. “His father sold all their possessions trying to take care of it locally, but Boi needed better technology.”

The daylong surgery removed the tumor completely, and the surgeons used bone from Boi's legs and skull to rebuild his facial structure while closely monitoring Boi's vital signs throughout the dangerous surgery.

“It ranks among the most complex surgeries I've ever been a part of, but there were a lot of us working,” Dr. Girod said. “It was tough even with three surgeons, and the reconstruction was difficult.”

The surgery was a heartwarming example of collaboration and good will, bringing together numerous donations, surgical prowess, and pure generosity. Local civic groups raised the funds to pay for Boi's hospital bills, and the doctors all donated their time, allowing Boi to receive this essential surgery before it was too late.

“It was very rewarding from our perspective,” said Dr. Girod, who along with his family personally hosted Boi and his father. “He's still dealing with some healing issues, but we were just glad to be a part of it.”