Sunday, May 31, 2009

Poopin' makes you happy.

Have you ever noticed how excited the folks are that are featured in laxative commercials? I just saw a t.v. ad for Dulcolax, and man - those people are shitting sunshine!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

When graffiti gets personal.

While I was walking to meet my good friend Bradley for cookies and/or biscotti and a nice cup of coffee, I ran into this:

Back fat. That's right folks. My biggest fear is now scribbled onto a wall near my apartment, forcing me to stare this devil in the eye several times a week.

Now, I can't tell what the second word is. I've been told that it's "hot." I'm not convinced. I think it says "Hof," which could be a reference to David Hasselhoff, which makes me think that the wordsmith responsible for this this piece of work is calling back fat crazy. Let me explain.

In the Spanish language, I believe that most of the time the adjective comes after the noun. I'm not certain on this, but let's just pretend I'm right for the sake of this blog post. So, I take it that this graffiti artists is using David Hasselhoff, who is obviously crazy as an adjective. So, we end up with Back fat Hof, which translates to,"Man, back fat is crazy!" I couldn't agree more.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Impressive marketing idea...

I got this in my inbox today and thought it was a pretty clever way to market the New Museum in New York. I haven't visited there yet, so for anyone looking to be my Valentine, this is a step in the right direction:)

New Chocolate Bar Gift Membership

Looking for the perfect holiday gift? Give the New Chocolate Bar, the New Museum’s unique Gift Membership!

Recipients unwrap this delectable peppermint-chocolate bar to find a New Museum Membership voucher.

Five chocolate bars contain a FREE Premium Membership (a $1,000 value), which have been inserted at random. You could be a lucky winner!

For the foodies out there...

I spent a good deal of Friday talking to a friend about culinary school, which reminded me of a terrific blog that a friend of a friend writes. It's called Consuming Lilly - For some of the absolute best foodie blogging, you have to check this out.

Plus, the latest post is about Paula D!

Monday's Best Headline

From the New York Times: "For Weiner, Politics Not Enough of a Contact Sport"

Best. Headline. Ever.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Sweden, you know how to make my day.

You know what's better than toilet paper embossed with a heart-shaped design? The names of places in Sweden. I like to see where readers of this blog are coming from, and apparently the folks of Karlskoga and Norrkping are fans.

This reminds me of the absolute euphoria I feel whenever I walk into an Ikea on a non-busy day. Speaking of, anyone want to take a field trip out to the Red Hook Ikea for some Swedish meatballs? The chicken strips are to die for too!

I didn't know pants had gone out of style.

Apparently, sometime between Monday and today, pants have become optional for women in this city - skirts too, for that matter. Really, anything that covers up the body from the waist down with the exception of a leotard has become a "maybe" instead of a definite.

In the past week, I've seen two women walking around with what could essentially be described as leggings and underwear. I don't understand - aren't they cold? Don't they realize that the word "leotard" has the "tard" in it for a reason? I've tried to capture images on my camera phone, but they never turn out. I'll try harder next time.

The conclusion: Either there has been a rapid influx of New York City women enrolled in dance classes since the new year started, or the sale of mirrors in the tri-state area has fallen drastically.

P.S. To all the Brits out there that read this blog, some clarification: When I say "pants," I mean "trousers." I know how you people work with your "pants" and the horrible meaning the phrase "fanny pack" takes on when you say it. Speaking of fanny packs and fashion, when are we going to bring that trend back?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Awww...thanks toilet paper.

It's funny how something as simple as a heart pattern on the office toilet paper can make you feel a bit more optimistic about the day.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


I'd be lying if most mornings I didn't look in the mirror prior to my walk into work and think "Damn, I look good." I think most people do. Well, except for maybe the blind, but I'm sure even they have some sort of adapted way of knowing whether they have made a fashion faux pas. And if I can recall correctly, I've never seen a blind person horribly dressed.

I think what constitutes a fashion mistake is relative. Everyone has his/her own tastes. So when a woman on the street is wearing a hat that closely resembles the result of a marshamellow Peep, the beloved Easter candy, and a Muppet having a baby, I for one hold her up as a national hero. That purple and pink fur hat speaks loudly, and you know what it's saying? Well, I'll tell you. That giant furry Peep is shouting "Get outta my way! I'm on my way to the top!"

God bless you lady on Fifth Avenue and 19th Street. Your Muppet/Peep hybrid fashion choice just made my entire week.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Follow me!

In probably one of the few times I'll encourage potential stalkers, I want to ask all of you loyal readers to start "following" my blog. Add me to your RSS feed, favorite me on Technorati, etc. I'm trying to gauge how many are actually fans versus those who happen to stumble upon my page while do Google image searches for dentures or Little House on the Prairie trivia.