This just can't get any funnier.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
My dreams are reverting to Tiger Beat territory.
I had a dream last night that I was dating one of the Jonas Brothers. I'm not sure which one of the three it was because frankly, they all look the same to me.
If the Jonas Brothers come to town, I'm going to arm a small group of my friends with tranquilizer guns and this warning: shoot me down like an elephant if I mention purchasing tickets to their show. I'm waaaaaaay too old to be supporting a group that makes the front page of Bop! Magazine.
If the Jonas Brothers come to town, I'm going to arm a small group of my friends with tranquilizer guns and this warning: shoot me down like an elephant if I mention purchasing tickets to their show. I'm waaaaaaay too old to be supporting a group that makes the front page of Bop! Magazine.
Monday, September 15, 2008
New favorite political joke...
What's the difference between Joe Biden and, say, a schnauzer?
1. Um, foreign-policy experience?
2. Pinstripes?
3. Hair plugs?
1. Um, foreign-policy experience?
2. Pinstripes?
3. Hair plugs?
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Two realizations.
Today, I learned that Amy Winehouse is only 25 years old. Man, that makes me feel good about the way I look for my own age. The wrinkles I'm starting to notice around my eyes when I smile don't seem like such a big deal when I see Ms. Winehouse's mug.
Secondly, I forgot how amazing The Great Gatsby is. While visiting Newport, Rhode Island with one of my best friends, Ms. Jessy Adams*, we saw a screening of the film version of the novel. I hadn't read the book or seen the movie since my freshmen year of high school, so after seeing the film, I thought I'd reread F. Scott Fitzgerald's masterpiece. I'm only two chapters in, but I realize that as adult, I have a whole new appreciation for this book. Perhaps it's my Nick Carroway-esque migration from the Midwest to the East Coast that I can identify with, but this time around, I simply can't put the book down.
*It should be noted that Ms. Adams was a fantastic host. She made sure to haev all my favorite foods on hand, as well as a kick ass air-conditioning system. She also understands the importance of visiting stores like Target while vacationing away from New York as everyone knows the Target in Brooklyn sucks.
Secondly, I forgot how amazing The Great Gatsby is. While visiting Newport, Rhode Island with one of my best friends, Ms. Jessy Adams*, we saw a screening of the film version of the novel. I hadn't read the book or seen the movie since my freshmen year of high school, so after seeing the film, I thought I'd reread F. Scott Fitzgerald's masterpiece. I'm only two chapters in, but I realize that as adult, I have a whole new appreciation for this book. Perhaps it's my Nick Carroway-esque migration from the Midwest to the East Coast that I can identify with, but this time around, I simply can't put the book down.
*It should be noted that Ms. Adams was a fantastic host. She made sure to haev all my favorite foods on hand, as well as a kick ass air-conditioning system. She also understands the importance of visiting stores like Target while vacationing away from New York as everyone knows the Target in Brooklyn sucks.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Something needs to be said...
I'm not a political person. Hell, by not voting in the past two elections, I'm part of a majority that should be held responsible for the past 8 years of my country. I'm not proud of this.
But this election is different. For the first time in my life, I care about voting. I'm passionate about a candidate and his policies. I'm ready for my country to change, and I believe Obama is the man to do it. More importantly, I'm terrified of the alternative. The Republican alternative.
Accordiing to the statistics, as a middle class white woman, I should be championing for Palin.
I should be opposed to Roe vs. Wade. Who CARES if it's my body? Who CARES if I'm raped and don't want to carry my attacker's child? Palin doesn't. She wants to reverse Roe vs. Wade and let individual states decide on what's best for my uterus. This might not be the most eloquent response, but are they fucking crazy? Why would I support the ideas that my body isn't in my control?
And another slap in the face - she wants an "abstinence only" sex ed policy. Does anyone honestly believe that just because you tell teens NOT to have sex they won't? Give me a break. Teach kids to be responsible. Teach kids to be safe. Teach kids to think for themselves instead of demonizing sex. Tell them the risks and what they can do to protect themselves. I guess if you're a teenage girl that chooses abstinence as your personal choice towards sex but then end up getting raped and get pregnant as a result, you can thank Mrs. Palin for your bastard child that reminds you every day of how you were violated in the most soul stealing way one can imagine. And not that I agree with the media scrutiny around her daughter's pregnancy, but I have to say that perhaps if this girl was given a proper dose of sex education, she would have at least made the father of her child wear a condom.
And what are her thoughts on homosexuality? Well, she can't say. She stutters a lot and dances around the question. But considering that she refers to the United States as a "Christian America," it looks a little bleak for all my LGBT friends. If Palin is in the White House, you better wave goodbye to any progress and civil rights you have fought hard for because I doubt a woman that believes in carrying a rapist's baby is going to champion any of your causes.
Gun control. She's against it. Duh. Surprisingly, I sit on the fence personally when it comes to this issue. HOWEVER, do i believe the average citizen needs a semi-automatic rifle? No. Palin does. And why does she believe this? She doesn't want to violate anyone's 2nd Amendment rights. The fact that this woman believes that everyone is entitled to own a gun but then turn around and say that women can't decide what to do with their own bodies is disgusting.
And now this Palin character is making it really personal. Rumors are swirling that she attempted to ban Harry Potter in her town's public library. She tried to ban the most beloved children's book of the past fifty years. She tried to ban a book that inspired a generation of readers. Don't mess with the Potter lady! Don't even go there!
Do I believe the book ban rumors? I know they are just that - rumors. Am I educating myself on Palin's policies? Yes. Does my further investigation of her make me even more enthusiastic about voting for Obama in November? You better believe it.
But this election is different. For the first time in my life, I care about voting. I'm passionate about a candidate and his policies. I'm ready for my country to change, and I believe Obama is the man to do it. More importantly, I'm terrified of the alternative. The Republican alternative.
Accordiing to the statistics, as a middle class white woman, I should be championing for Palin.
I should be opposed to Roe vs. Wade. Who CARES if it's my body? Who CARES if I'm raped and don't want to carry my attacker's child? Palin doesn't. She wants to reverse Roe vs. Wade and let individual states decide on what's best for my uterus. This might not be the most eloquent response, but are they fucking crazy? Why would I support the ideas that my body isn't in my control?
And another slap in the face - she wants an "abstinence only" sex ed policy. Does anyone honestly believe that just because you tell teens NOT to have sex they won't? Give me a break. Teach kids to be responsible. Teach kids to be safe. Teach kids to think for themselves instead of demonizing sex. Tell them the risks and what they can do to protect themselves. I guess if you're a teenage girl that chooses abstinence as your personal choice towards sex but then end up getting raped and get pregnant as a result, you can thank Mrs. Palin for your bastard child that reminds you every day of how you were violated in the most soul stealing way one can imagine. And not that I agree with the media scrutiny around her daughter's pregnancy, but I have to say that perhaps if this girl was given a proper dose of sex education, she would have at least made the father of her child wear a condom.
And what are her thoughts on homosexuality? Well, she can't say. She stutters a lot and dances around the question. But considering that she refers to the United States as a "Christian America," it looks a little bleak for all my LGBT friends. If Palin is in the White House, you better wave goodbye to any progress and civil rights you have fought hard for because I doubt a woman that believes in carrying a rapist's baby is going to champion any of your causes.
Gun control. She's against it. Duh. Surprisingly, I sit on the fence personally when it comes to this issue. HOWEVER, do i believe the average citizen needs a semi-automatic rifle? No. Palin does. And why does she believe this? She doesn't want to violate anyone's 2nd Amendment rights. The fact that this woman believes that everyone is entitled to own a gun but then turn around and say that women can't decide what to do with their own bodies is disgusting.
And now this Palin character is making it really personal. Rumors are swirling that she attempted to ban Harry Potter in her town's public library. She tried to ban the most beloved children's book of the past fifty years. She tried to ban a book that inspired a generation of readers. Don't mess with the Potter lady! Don't even go there!
Do I believe the book ban rumors? I know they are just that - rumors. Am I educating myself on Palin's policies? Yes. Does my further investigation of her make me even more enthusiastic about voting for Obama in November? You better believe it.
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