Oh lordy - I'm a Starbucks loser.

That's right folks - this marks the pinnacle of my lameness. I am actually sitting in a Starbucks "surfing the Internet" and "blogging," as the kids are saying these days.

HOWEVER, in my defense, the house I'm staying at has a wonky Internet connection. The aforementioned wonky connection as led me to this spot at Starbucks, so keep the smart ass remarks to a minimum.

I'll make this quick since I'm paying ten cents a minute for this Internet connection...

I ate at the famous Balthazar's today in Soho for the first time, and it was AWESOME! I ordered the ratatouille omellete* and I must say that I have never had a fluffier, non-greasy egg-related brunch food in my entire life. I'm pretty sure that (insert name of higher power that you personally believe in here) made this particular omellete as it was delicious. I also tried the Oyster Mary, a twist on the Bloody Mary. For those of you that think I ordered this because it's got my name in the title, you are correct. And may I say, I tasted fabulous.

After stationary shopping for the rest of the afternoon, I crashed on the couch for a Law & Order marathon before venturing out to Union Square to write this blog. Hot dog, I love New York!

*For those of you that guessed that my breakfast choice was 100% motivated by the movie Ratatouille, you are correct. Stop judging me! It was a good film!

Start spreading the news...

Today marks the one week anniversary of my return to New York, and can I say, I'm still on a natural high being fueled by the fact that I'm surrounded by friends in the greatest city in the world.

Apologies for not updating the blog. I've been busy catching up with people, etc. Also, I'm currently crashing in a Brooklyn loft with ten other people, so it's easy to get distracted when you have a handful of people to play Nintendo Wii with.

By the way, I've become addicted to Nintendo Wii.

I promise to post more regularly from now on. And expect a lot of restaurant-related posts to come your way. I forgot how much fun it is to eat out, and of course, there are some fabulous restaurants in New York. I'm hitting up Tea & Sympathy tomorrow, so I'll be sure to give you my two cents.

Also, upon my arrival back in Manhattan, I reached the pinnacle of bourgeois - I had afternoon tea at the Plaza Hotel. It was probably the best afternoon tea I have ever experienced, so I highly suggest you check it out.

I ate Pizza Hut today.

But more importantly, I'M BACK IN AMERICA! Also, I've got so much to write about, so stay tuned in the coming days as I'll be updating the blog like crazy. I would do it now, but I'm so jet lagged from the 25.5 hours I've just spent traveling. Focusing on the computer screen and a keyboard would be like Chinese water torture at the moment.

Rhubarb.

On a scale of one to ten, with one being the worst thing since David Bowie rocking spandex in The Labyrinth and ten being the greatest thing since the Sue Simmons' "What the eff are you doing?" video, where would you put rhubarb? Prior to breakfast this morning, I would have put it at around 9. But post breakfast, rhubarb has plunged into its own little economic crisis, as far as Mary Ann is concerned. I now give rhubarb a 2.

Come on rhubarb. Stop messing with me and follow the path of the orange - consistently deliver tastiness.

Diarrhea television advertisements.

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable in the following situation:

You are casually watching television with friends/roommates when an advertisement comes on claiming such and such medicine can cure chronic diarrhea. Said advertisement will usually feature a cartoon or something symbolizing the awkwardness of the runs/trots/squirts/etc.

And have you ever noticed that these ads are always scheduled for the time when most people are eating dinner? Nothing says "Man, I really enjoy Thai food" like an ad for chronic bowel issues.

Also, I included this photo of the Hoff with puppies as it was one of the results that popped up when I did a Google image search for "awkward," as I find chronic diarrhea adverts just that - a-w-k-w-a-r-d.