50% Attractive (originally posted June 12, 2007)

On Friday night, I headed to the East Village to see Bovine Homecoming play at Mo Pitkin's. My good friend David is the bass player in the band, and I figured it would be good to catch up since I hadn't seen him since I got back from Paris.

The show was great, I had a couple of drinks, and headed home. Then it happened. At the corner of Avenue A and East 2nd Street, a 20 something year old man walked past me and said "You're kinda cute." I stopped in the middle of the intersection.

Kinda cute? What the hell does kinda cute mean? Like I'm only 50% attractive? What does kinda mean percentage wise? 25%? 75%? I would think that saying kinda cute accompanied by a shoulder shrug would quantify to 25%, while just a straight forward kinda cute (no shoulder shrug) at least gets me to the half way mark. 75% would be achieved with "you're cute" and a full on 100% would be "daayum girl, you is hot." Granted the vernacular may changed, but overall it's the same.

In my complete disbelief that I was only deemed kinda cute, I spun around and yelled "Kinda cute?! I wouldn't even give you 10% marks!" Thank god the majority of America is perplexed by simple math, because the man looked at me with a confused stare and continued walking up the avenue.