Hey 2009. Pleasure to meet you.

One of my 2009 resolutions is to blog more. Well, write more in general. Actually, I don't make resolutions so those two previous sentences are kind of bullshit. But I did decide about a week ago to write more. Decisions are made all year round. Resolutions are made in that tiny time frame between the last week of December and the first week of January. So yeah, decisions. I'm making 'em.

Considering on an average day I typically think about at least two blog entries I could post, expect a lot more. Sorry for being a lame-o poster my dear readers. I'm making a promise to improve.

Reality check.

I don't like to post about most personal stuff. I don't see this blog as an online diary, but today, I found out some news that I feel like I need to write about. But I'm going to keep names a secret.

Less than two months ago, I participated in the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk. At the event, there were lots of women wearing shirts with the names of loved ones printed or written on them, and at one point, I was asked to wear a sticker and had to fill in the blank after "I'm doing this for..." I didn't know what to write. I didn't know anyone who had breast cancer. As far as I knew, none of my close friends had a mother who had gone through the ordeal. The women in my family are fine. I remember thinking,"Ehh...I don't know who I'm doing this for. I'll just write 'All Women'." The sad part is that it never crossed my mind to feel FORTUNATE that I didn't have anything to write in that blank space, the way I nonchalantly decided on 'All Women.'

Today, I have a name to put in that blank.

This morning, I found out that someone I am friends with and at one point in my life, was a mentor, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Ever since I found out, I've been sitting at work, staring at my computer screen, unable to think about anything except repeating the word "cancer" over and over again in my head. My first thought was "Why her? Why now? This isn't fair."

My second thought was fear. She isn't that much older than me. If it can happen to her, it can happen to me. This is the first time something like breast cancer has hit so close to home, and I'm not dealing with it very well. It's kind of funny. I've been reading the blog she started about battling her cancer and she's generally upbeat and has maintained her sense of humor through the whole situation. And here I am - on the other side of the country and a complete wreck because I can't do anything to help.

As cliche as it sounds, I've had the biggest reality check of my life today. In a matter of seconds, every perception I had about being a woman changed. Cancer happens. It can happen to anyone. It can happen at any time.

The one thought I find solace in is that I know this friend is strong. In fact, she's probably one of the strongest people I know. She doesn't take shit from anyone, so this cancer better watch its back. She'll kick its ass before it even knows what happened. Ninja style.

Good vibes and prayers are being sent to California. Great big, ginormous panda-infused vibes...

Thank you Dunkin Donuts for making me look stupid.

I realized last night that for the majority of my adult life, I have misspelled the word "doughnuts." How could someone with a college degree in English misspell such a common word, you may ask. Well, here is a little secret: I only made it to the school spelling bee once in elementary school (5th grade), and I was kicked out in the first round. I don't even remember the word that got me disqualified, but I think that was the complete shock and mortification that sunk after realizing I hadn't even made it to Round #2: Verbs.

However, I now believe there is another culprit at large. When you break down in scientific terms exactly what constitutes a doughnut, you have some dough that is in the shape of a nut. Why not put the two together for fun?! But in 1950, William Rosenberg decided to unleash the ultimate mind fuck when he named his store Dunkin Donuts. Why he chose this spelling, I don't know. His first store's name was The Open Kettle, so I would assume if spelling wasn't his forte, he would have chosen Thee Opin Kettel. I can only guess that Rosenberg thought that Dunkin Donuts sounded catchy, and maybe he wanted to save on typewriter ink - donut is arguably shorter than doughnut. He obviously wanted to take the "ugh" out of ordering ink cartridges for his machine. Well, "ugh" is the noise I made when I realized how often I misspelled doughnut. Thanks Mr. Rosenberg. Your thriftiness has made me look like a dumb ass.

I can only guess that my early adoption of Dunkin Donuts' doughnut holes as a staple in my diet led to me believe that doughnuts was actually donut. Most people would believe that letting your six year old eat at least a dozen doughnut holes isn't a good idea, but it was the 1980s and EVERYBODY was eating doughnut holes. Ahhh...the Reagan years: A time where kids weren't fat, regardless of the fact that they ate McDonald's breakfast meals and Dunkin Donuts doughnut holes. Those were good times.

So Mr. Rosenberg, I'm telling you today that I might still have the inclination to leave out the "ugh", but I now know better. I'll be damned if your tasty donut holes trick me again. Dammit...

Vermont bound.

I'm pretty stoked because in one more day, I'm heading to Vermont for the first time ever. My good friend and road trip buddy Allison is visiting from San Francisco, and we've decided to head up north. Plan on the secrets of maple syrup to be revealed upon my return.

Also, if I can find a baby moose to bring back with me, you better believe I'm going to have a new pet.

I voted!

For the first time ever, I voted. And I have to say, I haven't been this excited about something in a long time. Seeing all of my neighbors in line at the polls and showing a genuine enthusiasm reminded me how lucky we are to live in a country where we have the rights and freedoms that we, and I'm as guilty as the rest, take for granted most of the time.

Well, I'm proud to say that I voted for Senator Barack Obama as of 7:45 a.m. this morning. Obama/Biden 2008!

On the eve of the presidential election...

I have a feeling that I'm going to witness history tomorrow. It's strange - something makes me excited and uneasy. It's an actual physical feeling, and I'm finding myself trying to absorb everything I can on what is about to happen.

No one really knows who is going to win. I remember four years ago thinking that the international newspaper I was reading had a typo in its headline as I could not fathom that Bush had come out victorious. But something about this year feels different, and I hope that I'm right.

Although I have always been proud of my country and my heritage, the overwhelming sense of national pride is something I'm finding difficult to contain. No matter who you support, Republican or Democrat, the amount of passion that people have shown for this election is something to behold. I don't know a single person who doesn't care about the election tomorrow. Friends of mine that have otherwise shown no interest in politics are proudly announcing that they have registered to vote for the first time in their lives and that they can't wait to cast their ballot. And that's something to be proud of in my book.

If all goes well, I'm looking forward to the direction my country is headed in. I'm ready for the rest of the world to once again see how amazing we truly are, and I know that Barack Obama is going to get the job done. See you at the polls!

Ho-hum.

I realized today that I'm really breaking one of the cardinal rules of producing a blog. That is that I have no discernible theme.

I think "insanity" or "rambling" could be considered a theme, and not just amongst the padded cell crowd.

I haven't watched this much Saturday Night Live in...ohhh...ten years?

Lorne Michaels must be thanking his lucky stars for the creative genius known as Tina.

Blog milestone.

Now, I'm willing to admit that this was probably because of the videos I was posting and not my universally amazing writing skills, but So I saw on the subway today... had over 1,200 site visitors during the month of September.

So thank you readers. This Monday afternoon ego stroke has almost made up for the fact that James Madison makes me feel fat.

When the 4th President of the United States screws up your whole day.

On this brisk New York Autumn day, I, in no way, shape or form, thought that the fourth President of the United States of America would make me feel fat.

Well, thank you very fucking much James Madison. Mission accomplished! To get a better idea of what I'm talking about, click on the chart below.