Thursday, January 31, 2008

It's like animal kingdom...except there is no awkward animal sex or antelopes being eaten. (originally posted on May 11, 2006)

I'm sitting in my cubicle, trying my hardest to not eaves drop on office drama. But I've come to the conclusion that everyone here hates their job and argueably are bat shit crazy. But this is just a hypothesis. I've been formulating it for a while now.

This place is a cornucopia of beasts, the likes that have not been seen outside of the world's best zoos in ages. Well...that's not really true. I mean, I am talking about human beings here. But their voice modulation levels rivals those of zoo noises. They are loud, obnoxious, and frankly, most of them never shut the hell up when they are never saying anything important to begin with.

And to think one of these baboons had the nerve to ask me to turn down my iPod when I was listening to Sigur Ros. God forbid that beautiful Icelandic symphonic noise trump the horriible screeching of the ferret in the cubicle next to me, the incessant chattering of the televisions constantly tuned onto CNBC, or the never ending arguing of at least two grizzly bears at any given point of the day.

All I'm saying is that no one hesistates to drag sick animals into the street and put them out of their misery...just put the word "proverbial" in front of "street" and I think you'll see my point...

I need a proper job. Seriously. Someone hire me.

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